2 in one month...Wha??????

It's a miracle. Literally, a miracle. Officially, we are posting twice in a single month. Quite possibly more since I will be home on "vacation" for the next two months.

I'm (Nicole) still working. People think that I'm crazy. I figure that sleep and rest are overrated at the point. I might as well go to work and not dwell on the fact that in a matter of 48 hours I will be in active labor. We are going to be induced on Saturday at 6pm if Elijah decides that he is not ready to come out on his own. The way it's looking, he's in there for as long as he can. I keep trying to let him know that he would have so much more room to wiggle if he would just come out. However, apparently he takes after his father's side of the family and is a little stubborn. Everyone knows that it is definitely not from my side. :-)

We went tonight to have our pictures taken by a friend. She is trying to build her portfolio and did not have any pregnant women pictures. So we gladly obliged and took her up on the free picture offer. However, I did learn that when you are 39 1/2 weeks pregnant, there are some poses that you cannot do. For instance, probably not good to try to get a prenant woman to take pictures on the ground. It was super hard to get back up. Oh, and I had to pose for a picture where I sat on my legs. That one didn't work out so well. I'm super swollen and it just hurt. I can't wait to see the pictures though. They should be good and it will be good to remember two days before L-day.

Definitely looking forward to Elijah being here. His room is done and actually cleaner than the rest of our house. I can't wait to put him in there!!!

Big Belly Lists

I figure my time is coming to a close with having a belly that makes me out of balance and run into things. So I thought that I would make two lists of things that I will not necessarily miss about a huge belly and things that I might miss a little.

Things that have hit my belly:

Door knobs
Door Jams
Door Frames (are we seeing a trend)
Towel Racks
Counter tops
Strike Plates on Door Jams
The door stoppers on public restrooms
Cardboard boxes
My desk
My desk chair
My car door
The small refrigerator at work
Spit, while I’m brushing my teeth
Toothpaste
All beverages that have come close to my mouth
Most food that I have eaten
The seatbelt buckle
The mop every time I open the pantry door
Thadd's belly- we do a belly bump when we pass each other

Things that are fun to put on my belly:

Any beverage with a straw. It takes no effort to drink it. Thadd thinks it’s hysterical.
Food
The remote control
My cell phone (that way it’s closer when someone calls or texts)
I keep trying to get Francis to lay close so Elijah will kick him, so far, no luck.
Papers, boxes- Easier to balance when you have your hands full and you are trying to get into the door.

The Ol' Turn Around

So I realized this week that I have 5 weeks (less now) left with this pregnancy. What's so crazy to me is that is was around 5 weeks that I found out that I was pregnant. It almost seems like yesterday. These past 8 months have definitely flown by. My concept of time has changed in all aspects of my life. Now I equate the first half of 2008 with pregnancy weeks and what I looked like then.

I guess I should put in a disclaimer. I have just a smidge less than 5 weeks left (exactly one month tomorrow) until the doctors say I'm due. I think that they are off a week and a half. However, Elijah is the only one who really has the final say in the whole thing anyway.

It has definitely been a whirlwind year. A lot of things have happened and changed not only in our personal lives but in our family's lives as well. We went through all the milestones with Elijah growing inside of me but at the same time a small piece of our hearts was in Illinois with family. It's hard being pregnant and e-mailing you mom with the progress. It's even harder when your dad is "too old" to get internet so you can e-mail him the progress and pictures.

We have been through the passing of family and friends and also the birth of babies. We have been through a terrible Michigan economy and job loss. We have had triumphs and let downs. We have seen and heard of our grandparents failing health and listened to our parents when they are worn out from hospital visits and taking care of their parents. We have also moved and started new jobs. It's pretty amazing how much can happen in just 7 1/2 months. And just think, all this time, Elijah is none the wiser to what is going on in the outside world. He has just continued to grow, kick, practice gymnastics and hiccupped. He gets to experience the outside world soon with all of it's problems and successes.

I just can't wait to meet him...

Mr. Blog, I have neglected you

I have decided that I need to do much better about sharing things on this. Especially lately.

I'm amazed by our church body. We went to them with the problem the doctor saw with Elijah. We asked for prayers for our appointment on Wednesday the 18. More people came up to me this week and hugged me then ever before in our time here. They shared how much they had been praying for us and Eli and the relief that they felt after the test results showed nothing. I was amazed of the emotion that people felt toward our unborn child without ever meeting them. Some of which really don't know us terribly well.

I was also amazed at how many people dismissed the miracle factor of this whole thing. They were quick to blame the first ultrasound tech and complain of unprofessionalism. Honestly, we don't know what the first test results were numbers wise. When we went to the specialist, they were much more forthcoming with information and we know the specs of everything. So we really have nothing to compare to. Therefore, I feel that this is a miracle from God and that he did answer our prayers (and those of people around the country). There was a part of me who wanted to blame our doctors office and hold on to bitternesss towards them. But we don't know how much fluid was on Eli's brain and how large his ventricles were, therefore, I feel it is unjustified.

I have come to a reality that God wanted us to go through this. Although we pray for our unborn child's health every day, we still needed to trust that God was going to provide it. I'm still trying to figure out all of the lessons that we learned from this. I guess that in nearly a week I'm still processing it all and trying to understand why my faith was so weak when we found out that Eli was sick. It definitely made other things that I thought were important fade away and helped me to not take for granted this pregnancy. I try everyday to find joy in the kicks to the ribs and the pain and swelling that I am experiencing. I love feeling him move inside of me, it reminds me of how God created us.

After we found out that we were having a boy (for sure) I pondered Mary's (the mother) roll in the crucifixion. Not that she was the one who physically put Jesus on the cross, but how hard it would have been to watch her first son suffer and die for all the world so they could be saved. I'm sure that it was hard for her to not be bitter and angry at the sin of others for putting him there. Honestly, I've never thought of this aspect before. Maybe it's because the bible really doesn't put a lot of emphasis on Mary's life after Jesus' death. However, I do feel that Elijah is going to do great things for the Lord. And as hard as it is to say, that could mean sacrificing his life for others to learn more about Jesus.

I will try to be better at writing. I guess this is a start.

lunch

Today I ate lunch in one of the most unique arenas. It is one of those places many of us travel through but we seldom ever return to visit again. A place where not only are the pangs of hunger set at bay, but the hierarchal order of society is continued to be shaped and molded in our minds. The place I’m talking about is the Middle School cafeteria. Today in this place I was able to feast on much more than a simple chicken cordon bleu sandwich with sides of government issued cottage cheese with flecks of pepper, a helping of sliced cubed peaches in heavy sauce, and stale “tater tots” that could not be redeemed by any amount of ketchup or mustard.

I drank in what it was like to be back in those days that long passed me by when I daily tried to navigate the seas of junior high. Where at one moment the waters were cool and calm as you find you’ve aced your math test but only a little while later to have the waves crash over the bow as your shirt was stained from peaches and cottage cheese “accidentally” spilled down the front of you by your worst enemy. Now faced with this tragedy you must sail through the rest of the day trying to hide your stain marked shirt from the stares of other students who either understood what you were feeling or from those who simply looked on in disgust and passed you by like a power boat jetting by your simple little dinghy.

I watched students enter the lunch room running with reckless abandon. Some eager to meet with their friends and share the latest news of who is dating who and what teacher now holds the record for detentions awarded. I also saw students who tried to go unnoticed, those students who were just trying to get through the day without being in the middle of any major incident.

Personally, I received a fairly warm welcome. Due to past events with junior highers, I have made connections with many of them. However, for those who didn’t know me I received an interesting reception. The looks from the students who did not have any clue as to who I was were very comical. Some in the 7^th grade whispered to themselves that they thought I was a new 8^th grade student who just moved from out of town and did not know that he was out of place. Others simply stared and the funny looking, slowly balding beardo. I was finally asked what I was doing there why I would want to go and eat lunch with a bunch of 7^th and 8^th graders. At first I joked that it was because I had read the latest Zagat Survey which ranked the Middle School Cafeteria as the up and coming place for culinary delights. While the students did not believe this first response, they also did not believe my second and truthful reason. I was there to hang out with students on their time and on their turf; to meet with them and get to know them in their own environments.

In my short time in the cafeteria here is what I learned in no particular order:

<!--[if !supportLists]-->1. <!--[endif]-->School can be a source of joy for some students as they connect and interact with their friends and a source of pain for others as they try to simply get through their day without being picked on or made fun of. This often times requires the students to keep a low profile as they try to go unnoticed.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->2. <!--[endif]-->Seventh and eighth grade students do not know what a Zagat Survey is. Pokemon character? Um, no.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->3. <!--[endif]-->I missed the equality of humanity we try and instill into the generations that come after us. I watched as students jockeyed for position in the food lines and at their tables. I listened as students talked about each other in both positive and negative ways. And I spoke with students who it was clear they hadn’t had a kind word uttered to them all day.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->4. <!--[endif]-->The person who invented the chicken cordon bleu sandwich using the lowest grades of chicken, cheese, ham product, and buns need a stern talking to. For this is certainly not a culinary delight!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->5. <!--[endif]-->I am still struggling for position in line and a place at the table.

Awaiting the Savior,

Thadd

From Dad

Baby, I love you and I hope in time you will come to understand how much God has changed my life by using you. (And at this point, you are still in the womb!) I am still grappling with the thought of being your earthly father. My understanding of a father is drastically changing. No longer am I allowed to look at someone else and critique them from an outsiders perspective on who and what a father is supposed to be. I now have to examine my own understanding of fatherhood and basically "walk the talk". I would like to think that I've had a good example of being a dad by looking to my own father. Yeah, I do understand his short comings, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved my mom and he loved his children. I hope to be follow his successes and avoid his mistakes. But I think any child would say the same. But I also know that is easier said than done.

Baby, I haven't even met you yet, but I do love you. I am continually amazed at how our God is knitting you together in your mother's womb. There is no day that I am looking more forward to than the day of your birth. When I will finally get to hold you in my arms and look into your innocent eyes.

It is my continual hope and prayer that I will be a man you will be able to look up to and respect. That I will be father who loves your mother more than my own life and that our love will flow over unto you and any sisters or brothers you may have. I cannot believe how much I love you and I haven't even met you yet. May God bless you, keep you, and let his face shine upon you as you grow strong in Him.

Love,

Dad

Whew, Holidays!

So it's been a long exhausting month since we found out about the baby. The holidays offered us an amazing time to go home (both Morris and Springfield) and share with family and friends our good news. Our parents reactions were much to be expected with some screams, sarcasm and tears shed. It was exciting. We were also able to tell some friends of their upcoming "aunt and uncle" responsibilities.

Since our last blog a number of things have changed with pregnancy. I found out that my due date is August 20 (which makes me about 8 weeks on Wednesday). I still have not received a gift from the morning sickness fairy. Which is a huge blessing. I am still tired allllll the time and hungry about 20 minutes after I'm full. And, the biggest change, we got to hear the baby's heartbeat. They confirmed that they only saw one baby and that the heartbeat is strong at about 150 beats per minute. The cysts that I have are still there and there has been no change in them. So I guess in that one no news is good news. We go back again on Feb 1 and we will actually meet with the doctor. I think that should ease some nerves that I especially have. It will be good to ask some questions.

I've realized that I don't understand (even more now) how people can have abortions. I heard the baby's heartbeat at 7 weeks. And people have abortions later than that. I don't understand how they cannot view their baby as a human life. (*Disclaimer: I do not dispise, hate or anything like that people who have had abortions. I know people who have had it done who I have the utmost respect for and appreciate them greatly. I'm just trying to grasp the concept*). My heart hurts for people like that and it has made me think about people who have gone through that procedure. I know one person in particular who continues to think about what could have been and regrets their decision. I have heard that most women do regret it. Especially if they have children later in life. I wonder what their view becomes after that. I guess I'm more prone now to getting upset about things like that. I get more upset about children being abused and murdered. It just makes me hurt. I've also learned that my life will never be the same again. I'm trying to put positive stuff in my reading material about pregnancy instead of all the things that "could happen" that usually don't happen.

Here is our first picture. It was taken while I was 5 weeks 1 day. We do have a new one, we just have to get it scanned.